The MonkeySwing War (1950-2009)

Freedom isn't free but MonkeySwing is, and I want very much to download it onto my iPod. However I keep getting an error message, something about network this or that. It could be argued that I should be working on my proposal-writing and interviewing skills, but my ancestors suffered and strived so that I could live in liberty and I intend to honor their sacrifice by grabbing me some MonkeySwing before the price goes up.

We all know the net has been under-performing lately, and I think it has to do with traffic being rerouted around those big denial-of-service attacks. I believe we're going to wake up one morning and President Obama is going to be on TV saying the first wave of bombers have returned from their sorties over North Korea and God bless America. Unless the North Koreans manage to sneak out a nuke or two -- in which case those of us who are left will be talking about that -- I believe the free world will immediately start talking about what to call whatever it is that just started. The Second Korean War? Or, because the first one never really ended, a new battle in the Korean War (1950-2009)?

I believe that in an unguarded moment with Michelle or some of the pastors he's been test-driving, the President has already confessed that Bush was right about the Axis of Evil after all. In the early-morning speech I envision, he is going to seek our and God's forgiveness for getting us into a third war when we elected him to do something about the first two, but then remind us that he pledged never to hesitate to use force to protect American interests. He will conclude by saying:

"The Second Korean War has begun"

or

"After all these years, the Korean War is finally about to end."

If I have grandchildren, I will tell them that American fighters and the Korean people, cheated of proper lives by their dictators, suffered and strived so that they, too, could download in liberty. The history e-books may disagree, but to me it will be the MonkeySwing War.